Welp. The once a week thing ended as soon as it started. Maybe baby steps of once a month is more like it? The crazy thing is, time is just flying by here. I can barely keep up! I think that just might be one of the ways God is blessing us. The summer that everyone warned us about is just about at an end. We survived!! I mean, I might have spoken too soon, as the boys start school in 2 days, but I'm thinking there's not much they can pull on us that they haven't already. I should have kept tabs (probably good that I didn't...) on how many non-compliances and near non-compliances (essentially temper tantrums) occurred. This summer definitely forced us to grow and learn exponentially. Reflecting back, I think I can safely say that I'm thankful for all the experiences we went through. The worst that happened was some name calling, but after stories we've heard, we think we have slipped through pretty unscathed.
The boys are all at the Recreation Center playing basketball, including my Michael. I'm waiting for a youth to get back from work. I know he'll want a shower and probably won't be interested in the game, which means some peace and quiet for me. Thank You, Lord! I've had an odd headache most of today, which is really odd for me. I think I'll read Neil Gaiman's American Gods. I finished his Stardust book last week and adored it! He has such a great style about his writing. So illustrative. It's really like reading a movie.
Any who... the school routine will do everyone some good. The boys can only handle basketball, TV and video games so much. I think they are at their saturation point. Michael and I, on the other hand, will benefit from more down time to do normal people things like go shopping, return library books and nap instead of working non-stop from 7AM-10PM (on average). It's exhausting just thinking about some of those days.
We applied for our own cottage last week. Interviewed with three ladies from the office, then had an impromptu visit from a couple more office staff in the cottage and haven't heard anything further. Word on the street is, when you're chosen for the cottage, you find out right away. I'm guessing that means we will not be opening the Buck Cottage in September. There is still the Shrine Cottage, which is where we live, that is opening in November. That is truly our dream. We are, however, open to whatever is decided. We are trusting that God has us and will put us exactly where we are meant to be! That is a living, breathing lesson in our lives right now. We want to actively trust that God's plan for all of this is awesome and it will lead us to great things.
I think one of my personal struggles with this job is that the boys are placed here and most of my experiences with teenagers is that they chose to be where they were- church and SciTech. So, I'm dealing with boys who are angry, feel trapped and like they don't have many choices. I try to point out the choices they do have- over their feelings, thoughts and actions each day. Some days I feel like that empowerment message goes in one ear and out the other. I'm learning that so many people, of all ages and flavors, prefer to be the "victim" in their lives instead of the victor. I know why- it's easier to blame someone (or in some cases, everyone) else for the way your life is, than reflect and see just how much you are contributing to it... It's hard to see that I'm making any difference in these boys' lives because deep-rooted lessons like that don't necessarily take effect right away.
I keep reminding myself that God has put us here to till the soil, sprinkle the seeds, water them, be the sunlight or even prune the plants that have already grown. I might never see my work, but I have to trust that God will use each redirection, prayer, and conversation for His good.
I don't talk about it much, but I really do miss my friends and family. I think most people assume that it's a given... but I think it might be therapeutic to talk about.
I miss my SMUCCers. I missed this year's mission trip. I have been on all the others. I felt like I should have been there, doing vespers, making memories, singing Disney... I miss seeing all my kiddos and catching up on their lives. I miss girls' nights and lock-ins and Poconos retreats.
I miss my friends. Gosh, I took for granted being able to call someone up and make plans to meet them somewhere within half an hour. I miss getting out a calendar and planning things in the future. Having someone to mindlessly go shopping with (Michael is done with shopping forever... God love him that he does it just to keep me company...)...
I miss my family. My nephew is growing up without me in his life. That really bums me out... I want to be there to help my brothers in all they are up to in their lives. I miss my mom's cooking. I miss all the chaos and craziness.
But... to end on a positive note, God is great! We are here for a time to do His will and I know He will bless that. Hopefully by someday soon bringing us back to our families and friends. For now, we will strive to embrace obedience, learn to find peace in the storms of life and not let anyone steal our smile! :-)
Love and God Bless!!
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